East coast and English.

You can divide Malaysia into two parts, Peninsular Malaysia and East Malaysia. East Malaysia consists of Sabah and Sarawak while Peninsular Malaysia consists of 11 states and 2 Federals. At Peninsular, you can divide it into some parts, like North, West coast, south and East coast. Let’s take a look at east coast region. East coast region generally consists of Pahang, Terengganu and Kelantan. No worry, I’m one of the people in this region. Let’s take Kelantan as example. The Kelantanese are proud of their language. If you are a Kelantanese, it is very hard for you to speak English to other Kelantanese. I discover this since I was in primary school. Not all Kelantanese are like that, but some of us do not speak English. When we tried to speak English to them, some thought we were  showing off, or try to degrade Kelantan Language.

                Teaching English in Kelantan and Terengganu might be a tough job for English teacher, in my opinion because these people are so proud with their language until they can’t speak Bahasa Melayu properly. I do experience it now. Some of my friends, their accent is so ‘concentrated’, until people can guess that they are east coast. If in Pahang, I don’t think English is a big problem, isn’t it? Once the Kelantanese tried to speak English, the accent of their native tongue is still there. I’m not making fun of them, but some of them really don’t have chances to practice English in their life. English is just a subject that they need to pass for the examination. The mentality that is very hard to change is the importance of English for their future job. Speaking from a view of a student, it is no longer essential but a need for a student to learn English and master the language because this language has been used in many countries.

                I started to have my interest in English when I was in Standard 5, 11 years old when my English Teacher, madam Kamila taught us English(of course, what a stupid statement).  I was fascinated with the language, the pattern of the grammar and more and more. When I moved to my secondary school, my east coast environment is still around me because most of the students there are from east coast, Kelantan and Terengganu. Still, my practice in speaking English was limited during English, science and mathematics classes. Most of the time, I would speak in Kelantan language. Bad. Well, everything changed upside-down. When I transferred to school in my homeland, in Kelantan, I speak English more often here. I still can remember, although I speak in my native language, the English words never missed from my mouth. May be because I used to speak to myself often. Well, I do speak to myself in English. I spoke English without hesitant there. Sometimes, I accidentally speak English to my family. Ooops, that was not as I planned.

                My friends? Well, some of my friends did accept me as I am. Some of them spoke back to me in English, that one is very rare. Confidently, naa.. Not all of them have the confident to speak in English, but at least they tried. Some of them can speak better than me. I really adore those people who can speak English better than me. I forgot to tell you about my great influence to speak in English, my English teacher, Missy. She gives a great influence to my life. In my school, we do have a system which we call ‘homeroom’. Some SBP call it mentor-mentee, yeaah…. Some sort like that. However, in homeroom, we have a concept as a family. Missy was our advisor. Well, when an English teacher is an advisor of a group, what do you think about that? Of course the discussions were in English. I used to the environment, a new environment that is totally ironic to the state, Kelantan. I used to speak English too often with to my friends until some of them look at my face, they will remember Missy. That I think I was too obsessed with this language.

                I tried to help some of my friends to improve their English. I really like it. However, the effort mostly must come from them. Some of them they really work it, but some don’t. I tried to help them, well  if they do not want it, I couldn’t force them. Yes, you can force the horse to the lake, but you can’t force the horse to drink the water. That idiom is suitable enough with my situation. I tried some other way to help them, but I my effort was misunderstood wrongly. Well, what can I do? No offence ok? :P

                Even, in my university, some of my Kelantanese and Terengganu friends are not able to speak English with correct pronunciation, but I do believe they can be better than me. Better. 

ICT???

Blogging? It never come to my mind when I start touch my computer. Why? I told to myself that I’m not a ‘computer man’. Well, what can I do? I’m stuck with a new field of learning. It is not that I hate this field. I confess this field is expanding and those who are in this field will get a bright future. Well, I’m talking about a new field in my life, Information and Communication Technology (ICT).  ICT is expanding and I never mind about that because my interest is more towards another field, not ICT. Right now, I’m dealing with computers and programming.

                You know, I told myself I won’t let myself to be in a technical field like engineering. Talking about career, or my dream career, I don’t want to become a doctor or an engineer. I did discuss this issue with my teacher, and guess what I got finally? Nothing. After discussing this issue with some people, I still can’t figure my REAL interest. My teacher advised me to become a teacher, an English teacher. Well, it does make sense to me (until now). My performance in Science and Mathematics are so bad. Chemistry, Physics and Additional Mathematics are my ‘killer’ subjects. I don’t know why I’m so weak in those subjects. Well, I tried hard, but still my marks are not satisfied. Right now, I’m no longer need to deal with Chemistry and Physics but Mathematics. I don’t hate mathematics, honestly speaking; I still like mathematics, especially when it comes for money. I’m a little bit crazy about money. When money comes to the topics, I really interested. However, when functions and formulas came suddenly, I’m going crazy, really crazy. I tried to get a form from the Ministry of Education so I can be an English teacher, because there is an institution that provide course for Teaching English as Second Language (TESL). Sometimes, when I surf the Internet; I came across some messages in the Friendster which stated that they don’t want to become a teacher. I said to myself, if I could replace the person. I was so puzzled until now, looking for my future. What should I do now?

                Talking about this ICT, I’m such an idiot in this field. Still new. From the beginning, I told to myself, I don’t want to be in the university, the university that I’m studying right now. I just want have a simple life, my career must satisfy myself. I’m not a person who demands lots of things. I told my uncle about my plan to become a teacher. What next? He opposed my plan.  Stunned with his disagreement, I told him I want to go to Russia, taking medical, become a doctor. Out of my plan, I went to my counselor and told him that I would like to apply for medical course to Russia. He afraid I was late, but he did give me the chance. However, after looking through my result in the examination, I was not too eligible for the application.  My Chemistry was bad. Lots of my friends got better results than mine. Well, I was not thinking negatively, in reality, my name will go among the last person in ‘consideration’. Well, I lost my chance.

                One night, my friends told me that there were some applications opened for a scholarship, from an oil and gas company. I was not interested. I’d never planned for that. The application form was $20 each. Well, something went wrong that night. I was studying at the dinner hall. Well, I used to study there every night, sometimes; I spent all whole nights there to finish my homework, Additional Mathematics :P Back to that night. I was reading, doing my revision at the dining hall. We got exam tomorrow. My friends a.k.a. my PB( Manager) during our time in entrepreneur club, he sat near to me, waiting for anyone that interested to take the scholarship form. After entertained some students, he need to leave for a while. I voluntarily offer myself to handle it. Then, my roommates, Jami and Nije came from somewhere, and asked me about the form. I said they just need to give write the name and give the money to me. Interested with the scholarship, they went back to the room and took the money and handed them to me. After a while, I was thinking that there is not wrong if I tried to get the scholarship. So, without thinking twice, I went back, took out my wallet and slide out $20. I never know that step completely change my entire life. The next day, we were asked to gather at the computer lab and register for the course which I know nothing about this university, and I did declare to my friends that I was not going to the university. And what happen now? I’m now in the university.

               I was an English freak during my uppers secondary school. As an east coast citizen, we are not tend to speak English.  Let me tell you about this next time. I’m more comfortable to know something in English, even when checking my career; I used to read the information in English. Of course in English. I made a big mistake. When I completed the form, the form is online, in Bahasa Melayu, our national language. I looked at ‘Sistem Maklumat Perniagaan’ and ‘Teknologi Maklumat dan Komunikasi’, because according to my result, I just eligible for those courses.  Focusing on the word ‘Perniagaan’ I was thinking I’m going to take MBA. I never want to end up my life jobless, so I focused on the word ’KOMUNIKASI’. I’m good in communication and I thought I’m going to learn how to deal with people, handling a meeting, or perhaps more towards Public Relation career. That single click changed everything. After a few days, after finishing my examination, I realized that I just dug my own grave. I was taking ICT as my choice. Seriously in my heart, I want to get out from the school, run to a mountain and scream loudly for my ‘stupidity’. I was offered for the scholarship interview, I passed the interview and here I’m, at Perak, taking ICT.

                When typing this thing, I was reflecting myself. Am I not being grateful to God for my destiny? This question keeps spinning in my mind. Until when I’m going to accept this fate? Well, I’m still in the process to accept all of this. Oh my Lord, I beg to You, please open my heart for this reality. For the worst time in my life, I can’t accept what happen in my life. I mean that. (-_-!)