Sunday, December 26, 2010

Well it's hurt... a bit. And I'm glad.

Whenever I see a person I care the most once in my life, I felt a bit hurt with the happiness which I don't have it together with the person. I'm a loner. Yes, whatever you want call me. I'm not a person who is attached to a group in my life. pretty bad, huh?
Talking about hurt, my heart starts to heal a bit from the unknown-feeling-hurt-disease which make me feel more glad with the situation.

Oh, crap! This holiday is meaningless for me. I need something to feed my life!!!!!!!

Thinking again, I am in miserable states where I need to get my life normal. Wait. Do I have a normal life? May be. but I'm not sure whether I ever have a normal life 'cause it has been a long time I forgot when is my normal life. When having friends around or parents? this whole life is turning me crazy.

Soul mate? I think I'm gonna put this thing OUT from my mind first. Geez, pretty bad, huh? Well, I don't think i can be in a relationship for this time. Not that I cannot give my commitment, it's more like I shouldn't be in a relationship. Several cases I encountered in my life taught me love is tough if you don't have trust. Some people don't trust me anymore. If a person cannot trust me, how can I let anyone to trust me since I'm not trustworthy? I better find an alien area where no one know me and I can start a new life. When is the time? Just wait and see me disappear. On that time, I mean to be alone.

Thanks for spending your time to listen to my babbling tonight. Hope you will be blessed with your kindess to lend some of your time to read my crap.

It's a crap!

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